Inspired by my muse thanks to her I am sitting today to write again…I am not sure how this happens, I mean the muse thing, it is more or less when u just keep your mouth shut, sitting in a very silent room and you can still hear voices in your head…so loud that you cant stop them. So basically what I do when I feel that I can’t get rid of those pester voices I open a new word document and I start to write. I recall in the past that I used to hold my pen and papers, but now for sure things have evoluted in the revolution of technology and became much easier, though I miss the old fashion of writing in the book and using my magic pen. (Remind me later on to tell you the story of the old fashion).
Sometimes when I am writing I am so much affected by so many things around me, even the slightest things that others may not notice on their daily walks through their lives, a movie, a scene, a cat in the street, a note from a friend, a story of a friend, personal incidents, or even a passing by insect may inspire me.
It is not the story now of how do I get inspired or why do I write; it is more of what I am writing. Let me tell you a small secret that I have been holding in my heart for so long, a few years ago I had this idea of writing a book, that was a brilliant inspiration from a friend I knew and he was so encouraging me on how perfectly said and neat my words are, I was super excited and I felt that finally I have reached the point where I found a real dream to chase after, an objective to live for and a mission to accomplish.
Surprisingly enough, I started every night to hold my pen and papers to write, many thoughts and many ideas came rushing through my head like a marching army!
And here is the good part, each time I reach to the 3rd or the 4th page, I start crying and my hands start shaking as if I was haunted by an anti-inspirational soul!
Days pass, I try again and again, no use, I just can’t things done. I guess my friend May will recall that till this last year 2008 I was still insisting that I can do it, and she was so much enthusiastic about it and she even offered me a hand in the editing….Till this very moment, I cant get past the 4th page, and for no reason, I just cant do it.
I started writing my diaries, just like Bridget Jones (may be she was just more into the descriptive style) when I was 12, it was more or less small things unorganized that when I read them now I keep laughing like crazy. Today, I am at a fair age, at least to express in a neat way, and may be I gained some more vocabulary or even some more experience to pull some strings and write about things that really do matter. But again, the problem is I am still writing about what inspires me, regardless how small that thing is or how silly it could even seem to others!
I am sitting today again with me, my favorite person on earth to sit with (regardless of those judgmental perceptions that you may think I am egoistic or introvert) to start again what I wanted to do a few years back. So wish me luck this time that muse doesn’t leave home or curse me with her anti-inspirational power till I am done, or at least to pass the 4th page.
I am not wishing upon a star to be "ernest hemingway" or "paulo coelho" or even "Danielle Steel" and ofcourse i am not the type of "Steven King" or will i ever reach the rational of "Dr. Steven Covey", i am only wishing upon a star that i can reach my "final destination" of my "Vanilla Sky" to my world of passion my "Neverland" with all my "Pride and Prejudice" and "Basic Instinct".....hehehe ...just thought of adding a little bit of humor to my sad wish to lift it up with some merry thoughts!
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